Are We Really Hungry?

Dietitian Psychologist Rital ALALUF

As with most things, our appetite control begins to develop in childhood. Our relationship with food and our habits are shaped during these years.

When we are breastfed, our appetite control is as it should be; we cry when we are hungry, feed as much as we need, and stop feeding when we are full. However, when we transition to bottle feeding or solid foods, control passes to our parents. If we are forced to eat even when we are not hungry, we learn to eat without feeling hungry. If our parents, thinking we are eating too little, say, ‘You can’t be full with so little food’ or ‘You must finish that plate,’ we learn to stop eating when the plate is empty, not when we are full. If our family is controlling about food, we develop the habit of eating according to external cues rather than listening to and recognising our internal cues. When certain foods are forbidden by our parents, our interest in them naturally increases, and when we get the chance, we eat more than we normally would.

When we cry, we learn the calming effect of food along with the breast milk we are given. As we grow a little older, if we are offered sweets or chocolate in exchange for eating a meal we don’t want, we begin to learn that food can be a reward. If we are given sugar when we go to the doctor or chocolate when we fall down, we learn that food makes us happy. Evolutionarily speaking, high-calorie, fatty, sugary foods, which provide the energy we need to survive in an easy way, are a reward for our brain and cause it to release more dopamine. However, when we encounter these behaviours, we can attach more value to food than it actually has. That is why we can sometimes eat even when we are not physically hungry, and continue eating even when we are physically full. We can always find an excuse to eat: to make ourselves happy, because we are happy, because we are bored, or because we are celebrating.

When we use food to cope with negative emotions, this is emotional eating. Whether through evolutionary or learned behaviours, or through what we observe in our environment, we can turn to food when we are sad. The dopamine released in the first few bites makes us feel happy, but this effect wears off quickly. That’s why we eat more. At such times, we are often aware that the chocolate we eat does not actually make us happy or solve our problems. However, the brain tends to repeat behaviours it has become accustomed to. When we feel sad again and do not know what to do, our brain immediately recalls that learned behaviour and decides to try chocolate again. However, because the brain has become accustomed to the amount previously consumed, this amount will no longer provide sufficient pleasure. Therefore, the amount consumed begins to increase. With the onset of uncontrolled eating, guilt and regret may be added to the unhappiness, and this continues as a vicious cycle.

The way to start solving this is actually to realise not so much ‘what’ you eat, but ‘why’ you eat. When you think you are eating emotionally, you may not be eating unnecessarily or experiencing emotional hunger. Your attack on the pasta in the evening may be your body turning to carbohydrates to get energy quickly because you have been hungry all day. Even if you are not hungry, the reason you ate the pastry may be because the smell coming from the bakery made your nose hungry. You may also want to make your grandmother’s cake because you miss her and want to ease that longing. All of these are natural and not a problem as long as they are controlled. However, if the answer to ‘Why do I want to eat?’ is to alleviate your unhappiness and you are eating uncontrollably, you should stop and think. Because food is not the way to fill the void inside us.

When you realise the reason before eating, you begin to develop a healthy relationship with food. Recognise whether your hunger is physical or emotional. Are you experiencing physical hunger, or is it just your emotions that are hungry? Before eating, rate your physical hunger on an imaginary scale from 1 to 10. On a scale where 1 is very hungry and your blood sugar is low, and 10 is so full that you feel uncomfortable, starting to eat at around 3-4 and stopping at 6-7 may indicate that you are acting according to your physiological needs. However, if this is not usually the case, you should look for ways to control it.

No one understands your hunger better than you do. We hear statements from experts, neighbours, and friends such as ‘you should eat every 4 hours, have 3 main meals and 1 snack,’ and we try to eat even if we are not hungry at that time because it is said to be ‘healthy.’ However, just as no one’s tastes, character, sleep patterns, or physical activity are the same, one day may not be the same as the next. Unless you have a physical condition that requires you to follow a specific diet, instead of listening to nutritionists, doctors, or acquaintances to find answers to questions like ‘How often should I eat?’ or ‘How many meals should I have?’, we should listen to what our own bodies want and what they need.

Discover your own hunger. Satisfy your hunger as healthily as possible, with healthy foods. When you can’t do that, accept that it’s human nature and don’t punish yourself. Don’t feel guilty. Eat slowly, savouring what you eat, paying attention to what you’re eating, and enjoying it. Bon appétit

References

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3. Carnell, S., Benson, L., Driggin, E., & Kolbe, L. (2014). Parent feeding behaviour and child appetite: associations depend on feeding style. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 47(7), 705–709.
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5. Tribole, E. and Resch, E., 1996. Intuitive Eating. New York: St. Martin’s Paperbacks.
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